February 17, 2008
Swinging Articles
No Comments
“Dogging” is having sex with more than one person in a public place. At least one stranger may be involved. Having other people watching is usually part of the mix, so exhibitionism and voyeurism are part of dogging.
The word may have originated with the idea of dogs “doing it” in the open, unashamed, with whatever other dog happens to be interested.
Think you want to try dogging?
Check on line for other people who do this. You may find suggestions for meet-up spots.
You have to be excited by the danger and possibility of getting caught in order for the experience to be fun. Still, you don’t want to be stupid about it and guarantee an embarrassing arrest. Scout the area to know the atmosphere and the cover. Move around to look into the area from several directions, so you can check the level of visibility in which you’ll be exposing yourself.
Start small. Even the slightest touch in a public place can be incredibly exciting, and it allows you and your partner to see if you have interest in going further.
In forests or parks, on a beach, under the boardwalk or stadium bleachers, in the baseball dugout, in a half-built house or abandoned barn — all of these places are potential spots. In the car in a parking lot or car park is a common dogging location; it allows for some cover except from the voyeurs who gather around the car. Bring a blanket if you’re somewhat self-conscious. A blanket is really handy during the cooling-down after the act as well.
Be disease-safe as well. Use condoms, other barriers as necessary, and spermicide. The excitement of sex with a stranger — or new friend — is hardly worth a lifetime of unpleasant chronic illness, warts, or the like.
February 17, 2008
Swinging Articles
No Comments
There are two important safety rules for any and all sex with people you do not know well.
ONE: Someone must know where you are. Someone should have a phone number for you and a real location, and an idea when you are coming back. You may arrange to have someone call at a specific time, and if you don’t answer, they will send the police. Talk on line with people about their safety ideas; you can learn a lot! Most people are nice, but there are a few dangerous creeps out there.
TWO: Be disease-safe as well. Use condoms, other barriers as necessary, and spermicide. The excitement of sex with a stranger — or new friend — is hardly worth a lifetime of unpleasant chronic illness, warts, or the like. It is totally unfair if you have a regular partner to risk exposing them, as well. Remember that many sexually transmitted diseases can be transmitted when there are no visible symptoms, and that a recent HIV test won’t reveal exposure within the last six months or so. When you have sex with someone, you’re having sex with all the people they had unprotected sex with, too.
Concluding my swinging experience:
Chuck got an unlubricated condom from his shirt pocket. I watched curiously as he found a pair of sharp nail scissors in his jacket, which he had hung on a hook on the wall. He looked at me seriously.
“May I lick you, Louise? I’d like to bring you pleasure.”
I nodded mutely and began hiking up my skirt a little at a time.
Chuck removed the condom’s wrapper and clipped the condom from one side to the center. “It’s as large as a dental dam,” he explained, unrolling it into a squarish shape, “and much more sensitive.”
He knelt on the floor in front of me and gently drew off my panty hose. When his fingers touched my labia, I jumped; I was quite nervous, but also more aroused than I had thought. I leaned back, bracing my hands on the bed. He spread my labia and placed the latex over my supersensitive inner lips, and I gasped at each probing touch. Then his mouth was on me, hot and mobile, his tongue stroked my clit slowly (I never felt the latex), and I almost cried out.
Slowly, patiently, Chuck played my nervous system like a harp. Slow soft strokes, hard little pushes, fast flickering brushes and exploring deep probes — his tongue was everywhere and yet just where it needed to be. Just as I thought I had reached that delicious plateau right before orgasm, Chuck changed what he was doing and brought me to a higher one. My orgasm shook me like a terrier might shake a rag, violently and long. I screamed in spite of myself. He did not let me stop coming until I was exhausted and squirming away from his persistent tongue.
I lay gasping while he stood up slowly and removed his pants. Gratefully I nodded assent to his questioning look. He rolled a new condom over his stiff penis, climbed onto the bed, and slid easily into my hot wet chamber. I rolled with his motion, deliberately squeezing to please him; he had done such things for me! After having watched my convulsions, he was quite ready. It seemed too soon that his grunts became desperate, his rhythm quickened, and then he was exclaiming in sharp gasping moans, pulsing inside me, pressing his hips into mine. I clung to him with my legs, enjoying his pleasure as the echo of mine.
February 17, 2008
Swinging Articles
No Comments
Wife swapping (or swapping, for those who point out that it could just as well be husband swapping) is a subset of swinging, in which the participants are married couples. A lot of swingers are not married or may be single; they enjoy sex with different people as a opposed to a steady monogamous relationship with one person.
Those who look at things from a perspective of evolutionary biology point out that responding to the drive to expand your genetic contribution to the world results in different strategies for males and females. Males want to mate with as many fertile partners as possible. Females in species like ours in which infants take a lot of time and care to come to maturity are more interested in providing for the young and keeping the male nearby to help, as well as reducing competition for resources in their area. This may explain why husbands are usually far more interested in swapping than wives are. This is not true of every individual, certainly! However, it is an overall pattern.
More on my first time swapping:
Chuck suddenly said, “Oh, hey!” and jumped up to open the door. “Joan! Please come meet Louise!”
Joan, a nattily dressed woman with bright red hair, left her guy standing in the hall and happily came in to shake my hand. Chuck stepped out and said, “Soo…how about those Rangers?” The guy shook his head.
“Hey, I’ll only be here a minute,” said Joan. “But it’s nice to meet you.”
I nodded. Hesitantly, I said, “This is really OK with you?”
“Oh, definitely!” Joan exclaimed. She lowered her voice. “First time, eh? Chuck’s got a thing for first-timers. He’s a really gentle guy; you can trust him.”
I felt moved by the love that crept into her voice. Then she winked suggestively. “Don’t miss the tongue…”
Chuck returned, and Joan patted his belly and squeezed back out to the hall. Chuck closed the door, drawing the little shade on the window this time. Feeling brave and nervous together, I slipped off my shoes.
February 17, 2008
Swinging Articles
No Comments
Swinging became talked about in the 60’s, particularly after contraception became available. Since then, its popularity has grown. Clubs for meeting up, or even clubs with on-site facilities for those who wish to have sex there, have become established in many locations. An Internet search will likely reveal one in your area.
My first-time history continued with this big gentle man, whose name as it turned out was Chuck, taking the time to explain to me what people found exciting about having multiple partners. Just as in dancing, he said, people have different styles, different strengths. It is fun to explore the same activity with different people because it keeps the activity new and exciting.
“And often,” he said, “when the last dance is called and you’re back with the person who brought you, the dance is new with him. You can feel again what you loved about dancing with him in the first place.”
I thought about Harry, his passion, the heat that used to flame between us, and how hard it was to keep our hands off each other. How I deliberately rubbed my hip into his crotch standing on the bus from college, delighted by the responding ridge in his jeans. How we ripped each other’s clothes off as soon as we got in the apartment door. Having a baby had certainly slowed us down, although there was that time last Christmas… I felt a flush rise slowly.
“So what is your name, sweet lady?” Chuck asked, bringing me suddenly back to the present.
“Oh!” I was embarrassed I hadn’t told him when he introduced himself. “Louise. Sorry!”
He grinned. I looked at him frankly. He had a really sweet smile, but otherwise he was not particularly attractive. Thinning hair, quite overweight, ordinary face, doughy hands; he looked like the guy who could work in the office two doors down from you for twenty years and you’d never talk. Still, I appreciated his kindness. I felt a little awkward. This was supposed to be a sex club, and I really didn’t feel like having sex.
February 17, 2008
Swinging Articles
No Comments
First, a definition: “social and sexual intercourse with someone other than your partner, with the full knowledge and consent of that person.”
Next, what it is not: Swinging is NOT polyamory, and neither swinging nor polyamory is “cheating.” Full knowledge and consent is a necessary part of swinging.
Swinging may take many forms:
Parties/Orgies with partner swapping or group sex
Couples meeting up and trading partners
One partner having sex with lots of people (together or serially) while the other watches
Specialist swinging ie; finding swingers with fetishes to play out fantasies
My first time was in New York City. We were young parents of a two year old, and I was feeling like I lived on a hamster wheel; run run run, always the same. My husband thought it would be fun to swap. I wasn’t at all sure, but I didn’t want things to stay like this! So we got a sitter and went to a club.
The first thing I noticed was that these were very ordinary people. There were a few gym-body lookers, there were nervous middle-aged folks, singles and couples, heavy and skinny and everything in between. I got less worried about my stubborn baby-belly.
The hubby found a girl even younger than me and started chatting her up. I caught the eye of a man maybe ten years older than myself, graying a little and overweight. He moved in beside me at the bar and offered me a drink. I declined.
“First time?”
“Yeah,” I admitted, looking at the ringed surface of the bar.
“Come with me now,” he suggested, “before you have time to get really nervous. The room is within earshot of the bar, and we won’t have any kind of sex if you don’t want to.”
The bar felt loud and crowded, and he had such a gentle voice. I followed him around the corner to a hallway with a lot of doors. He chose the first one and opened it. I preceded him into a tiny room, just large enough for a double bed. The sheets looked clean. I sat on the bed, leaving lots of room for him to sit down. I appreciated that he sat a little distance from me. The chatter and music from the bar was muted through the closed door.